aGING, Alzheimers, Dementia, Elders, Family, Family Unit, Health Care, Inner Strength, Old Age, Uncategorized


© PJ Hayward, New York  2014

She has been my best friend all my life..

As children, we built forts and fought off bloodthirsty pirates
and murderous robbers…

Together we rode our trusty steeds through endless western canyons and mountain trails in search of kidnappers, cattle rustlers and assorted other nasty varmints.

All were as real to our young minds as those same images that inspired our play…
….those fearless heroes of the silver screen that kept our eyes wide and our hearts pounding at the local movie theater on Saturdays..

Never lonely, we played together every day 

We were for each other – thick or thin…. 

My best friend….
………my sister…

Then – Life intervened… 

Life intervened and Time did what Time does….
It brought separation……and change… 

Still, best friends we remained even until now…

… we have grown old and change has taken on a new disguise 

Age has caused some strange and frightening Thing to possess that beautiful soul that has always been my best friend 

She is disappearing inside a gray cloud
She talks incessantly but says nothing
Out of happiness, a burst of anger erupts from nowhere… 

She is fading, camouflaged by some unknown stranger…………. 

I want my Best Friend back

I want my sister back



5 thoughts on “MY BEST FRIEND”

  1. Dear Patti:

    When we lose a loved one through an illness affecting the brain, the loss is very heartbreaking. The worst part of it is is that we are helpless to change anything. Watching things unfold puts another strain on us. That is one of the sad things about growing older. When we meet on the other side the person will be whole again. We have to keep that in mind to lessen our pain.

    Rose Binder


    1. Beautiful Rose! You are so wise! Thank you for your words of wisdom. I guess you hit the nail on the head when you said “watching things unfold”….because changes can sometimes be so subtle as to only be recognized by those very close to the situation….so maybe it is fear of the unknown future more than anything else that is so upsetting. Thank you for your wise and comforting words!


    2. You know Rose, I realize something else also.. for the moment, I can still cherish my sister ….maybe the day I really fear will never come. Or if that day gets here, where the gray cloud becomes black and impermeable, at least we will still have these days…..


  2. Thank you for this poem. I also have a sister who is having physical challenges now, (oxygen dependent for one thing). We are still very close though she is over 1500 miles away. I am thankful her mind is intact and we speak frequently. I can relate to some of your feelings as I watched my husband, the man of my dreams whom I loved, cherished and adored slowly disappear . Dementia is a terrible illness and it takes our loved one away from us right before our eyes. One of the many things I learned while caring for my husband is they (the person afflicted with dementia) cannot change, we have to be the one who change. As we, creatures of habit, know how difficult that is, have to in order to keep our sanity and provide the help our loved ones need. They need us and much as we need them.


    1. Yes, we are the ones that have to make the change for the positive…which is so hard. I am still at that point where I am resentful and angry, because my loved one is becoming progressively worse but she refuses to acknowledge there is a problem and therefore gets no help. That scares me no end, because I fear the consequences. Thank you so much for sharing your insight and feelings. I have to work on remaining my sister’s best (and loving) friend.


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